Twenty Years
by Cheeyathebard
Summary: Lady Kara has entered into a marriage with the disgusting Lord Maxwell but one day, a knight comes into her life and it will never be the same again. This is a little different from my usual stuff so go easy on me! Set in medieval times. Characters are based on characters that aren't mine! WARNING for some sexual unpleasantness in the beginning. The rest is very pleasant ;-)


When Lady Kara of the House of El walked down the aisle at the age of eighteen years, it was not the romantic and happy affair she had dreamed of as a child. It was not the moment of great joy where she walked into the arms of her handsome prince. Instead it was a sober and unhappy affair where her new husband was the ruler of a neighboring land - three times her age, battle-scarred and walked with a heavy limp.

It was not about marrying the love of her life. It was about forging an alliance and making it the strongest in the whole region. Kara did not think she could ever forgive her parents for making her do it but duty and honor and her love for them, even when she felt they had betrayed her, kept her feet moving down the aisle that sunny, yet bleak, morning to take the hand of Lord Maxwell and become his wife.

..

The orchard was Lady Kara's favorite place inside the castle keep. Despite the hustle and bustle around her, this place, her place, was quiet and calm and a little piece of paradise that she didn't have to share with anyone. The sun shone down on her golden hair adding a glow to her already beautiful countenance.

She was sitting in front of her easel, working on sketching a rough outline for her newest painting when a messenger suddenly appeared, bowing before her. "Pardon me, M'Lady. Lord Maxwell has asked to see you in his chamber immediately."

Kara swallowed, horrified, but quickly regained her composure and nodded. "Thank you, Percy," she replied, standing and then lifting her skirts slightly as she walked towards the castle. She knew what this meant. During her six years of marriage, it had happened many times.

She reached her husband's chamber and knocked lightly before slipping inside. It smelled of old, stale sweat and mead and her nose wrinkled as she looked around. Lord Maxwell was sitting in his armchair by the fire, unshaven and unwashed as usual but she averted her eyes quickly as she realized that his hand was wrapped around and stroking his already erect member. "My-My Lord," she murmured.

"On the bed, Wife," he growled, eyes unfocused, no doubt from the amount of mead he had consumed.

Kara's hands shook but she did as she was told and sat on the bed, keeping her eyes on them, cradled in her lap, as she heard her husband get up and stagger across the room to her. She closed her eyes tightly and just let herself float away to her orchard and her father's golden wheat fields as Lord Maxwell ripped the front of her dress open and tore out the lacework of her corset. Then he pushed her hard back onto the bed. He bit her breasts and nipples roughly and she turned her head to the side, staring at her favorite painting in the room as his hands lifted her skirts and tore away her undergarment.

Kara suppressed a cry of pain as her husband pushed himself roughly and deeply inside her. She knew that anything he saw as resistance would earn her a more painful punishment so she just lay still, hands fisted at her sides as he panted and huffed and groaned on top of her with one hand holding her down by the throat, the other holding her legs apart and his lips wrapped around her nipple.

Then he released a high-pitched, keening sound and collapsed on her. Kara could hardly breathe and his heaviness pressed down hard on her abdomen but she knew better than to push him off her so she just waited, endlessly patient as he finally got off her and laced up his leather pants. "Get out," he growled and Kara nodded.

"Yes, My Lord." She got up, trying to fix her damaged clothes into some semblance of modesty as she walked shakily to the door and stepped out into the corridor. She felt moisture between her thighs and wondered if it was her husband's seed or her own blood. Thankfully the corridor was empty and her chamber just a few doors away so she slowly walked toward it, her hand against the wall to steady herself, but Kara knew something was very wrong when her vision began to swim and suddenly, she found herself lying on the floor, staring at the ceiling for a moment before she fell into unconsciousness.

..

Lady Kara wanted to die.

She'd felt that way many times since marrying Lord Maxwell but the residual pain made it even more real. She whimpered as gentle fingers stroked her hand and she grasped them, fearful and feeling so so alone.

"Shh, everything will be well, M'Lady," a low, almost raspy voice soothed. "Just rest."

"Who are you?" Kara whispered hoarsely. "Where am I?"

"You are in your bedchamber, M'Lady," the voice replied. "I found you on the floor in the corridor and carried you here. The healer has visited and will return momentarily."

"Thank you, Sir…?" Kara replied.

"Alexander," the voice replied. "I am the head of the Lord's Guard."

"So, you are loyal to my husband," Kara stated flatly, pulling her hand away.

For a moment, there was silence. Then Sir Alexander leaned into view, his armor and chainmail creaking slightly. He was a smaller man than she had expected and clean-shaven. His face was smudged with dirt and a scar ran from the corner of his right eye to halfway down his cheek but Kara gasped slightly as his gentle brown eyes gazed down upon her. "I am loyal to my Lord but I do not condone his actions." He looked down. "I am sorry this happened to you."

"Well, I am accustomed to it, Sir Alexander," Kara replied coldly, knowing it was probably the biggest lie she would ever tell.

"Please, call me Alex."

Lady Kara allowed her crystal blue eyes to meet the knight's brown and she nodded slightly. "Alex."

A light tap on the door, caused Alex to quickly stand and step aside as Healer Edith entered. She was a portly woman who had been treating Kara's injuries and illnesses since she'd arrived at her husband's castle.

"M'Lady," she greeted with a sad smile. "You are looking somewhat better. How do you feel?"

"Tired," Kara replied honestly. "What happened to me?"

The older woman leaned closer and stroked her patient's damp hair back from her forehead. Alex moved to the window, his back to them to give them some privacy. "Kara," Edith murmured gently. "You were with child but the good Lord has decided that it was not to be."

"I lost a baby?" Kara could hardly breathe as fury immediately rose inside her. "He… he… killed… my baby?" She rolled onto her side and screamed into her pillow until she couldn't scream anymore.

At the window, Alex looked down, his hands twitching on the hilts of the sword and dagger hanging from his belt.

..

It was a chilly winter's morning and the sun had barely risen above the tree tops. Lady Kara was wrapped in furs, sitting at her easel in her favorite part of the orchard. Her paint brush was clasped in her cold fingers but she was waiting for the perfect light, the perfect moment of sunrise to capture in her work.

"You should be careful," a teasing voice spoke out in the quiet. "If you do not move, you will for certain freeze into a statue. Although, a beautiful statue you would indeed make."

Kara laughed and lowered her brush. "You startled me." She grinned widely. "And flatter me."

"I did not wish to frighten you," Alex replied with a smile of his own. "Are you well? You seemed melancholy."

The young woman shrugged slightly. "I was thinking about what it would have been like to be a mother."

The knight moved closer, his hand resting lightly on the hilt of his sword. "May I?" he asked and, at Kara's nod, took a seat next to her on the stool she had begun to place there for this sole purpose. For three months now, Kara had been giving Alex painting lessons but the knight, ever the gentleman, still asked if he may be seated every time. "Do you still want children?" he asked quietly.

For a moment, Kara's breath hitched and she looked down, barely able to stop her tears from spilling over. "Yes…" she replied. "But not with… him." She sighed then. "Even though I know it is my duty as his wife."

But Alex shook his head. "That should never just be a woman's duty," he replied hotly. "No woman should ever have to endure what you…" He stopped suddenly, his teeth clicking together as he ground them closed. "I apologize for my outburst, M'Lady."

"Do not you think it is time you called me Kara?" the young blonde asked gently, squeezing the knight's calloused hand.

"I am too far below your position to do that," Alex replied, shaking his head.

"Alex," the blonde stated firmly. "You are my best friend. The only friend I have in this godforsaken place. I would very much like it if you would call me Kara. If only when we are secluded."

For a long moment, Kara thought the knight would refuse again but the gentle affection in his eyes made her blush a little. "If it is what you wish… Kara."

Just then, the Lord's messenger appeared. "Lady Kara, the Lord requests your presence in his chamber."

Alex stood quickly, knocking his stool over in his haste. "Tell his Lord that…" But he stopped abruptly when Kara's hand rested on his arm.

"Tell my husband that I will be there momentarily," the young woman responded and watched as the young boy ran back towards the castle. Then she turned resigned blue eyes to her best friend. "I must."

"No… Kara…" Alex hissed desperately. "Please…"

Without another word, Lady Kara turned and made her way to the castle and inside. Alex followed to stand under the open window of his Lord's bedchamber, pressing his fists hard into his eyes as he heard the woman he loved scream.

..

Pacing outside Kara's bedchamber, Sir Alexander felt a war waging within his chest. It was a war of truth versus lies and want versus loyalty and it hurt so badly, he just wanted to scream. His time with the beautiful young woman was the most precious thing in the world to him and he feared that the truth would shatter their friendship forever. Kara was married so he could never have her in that way but, if she found out the truth, it was possible that she would never speak to him again.

Deep down inside, Alex knew that the lady felt something for him. He could see it in her eyes, feel it in her gentle touches against his hand while they were painting. It was there in that smile she reserved only for him. The knight knew he could not lose her without dying himself. He had loved her for such a long time. For much longer than they had even known each other. He had seen her from his post on the battlements of the castle, walking, painting in the orchard or just day dreaming on a bench in the gardens and he had fallen in love from the very beginning.

Just then the door opened and Healer Edith emerged into the hallway. "She is asking for you," she said. "Alex, she needs to know the truth."

Alex nodded and immediately went into the room to find Kara tucked up in bed. Her lip and nose were bloody and her broken right arm was splinted and bandaged tightly. The knight sat on the edge of the bed, smiling gently as Kara opened her eyes and sighed with relief.

"I should have listened to you," she said hoarsely. "Someone told him they saw us together in the orchard." Kara left the rest unsaid but Alex closed his eyes and shook his head.

"I am sorry, Kara," he replied, his voice wavering. "This is my fault."

"No," the young woman replied with a shake of her head. "This is not your fault. We have done nothing wrong."

"But I love you."

The words were so soft, Kara, for a moment, thought she had misheard. "Alex…"

"And I know we cannot be together, Kara. But I do."

"I know," the lady replied. "I have known for a while now." She smiled. "The truth is that I love you too, Alex."

Taking Kara's hand, Alex nodded. "I have suspected," he admitted. "But this declaration between us does not solve matters. You cannot commit adultery…" His eyes slid closed. "Especially not with me… so I must leave this land."

The blonde started to cry. "Please no, do not leave. You are the only man I want, Alex," she replied desperately.

Sad brown eyes met watering blue. "But I am not a man," the knight replied, getting up. "Goodbye, Kara."

Lady Alexandra of the House of Danvers heard Kara's sharp intake of breath and whimper as she moved towards the door, her downtrodden heart shattering in her chest.

..

"The mead and debauchery finally caught up with him, the bastard," Healer Edith stated quietly as Kara stood in front of her husband's coffin. It took everything the lady had to not laugh but she elbowed the older woman gently in response.

"Eight years of marriage," the young blonde murmured. "Eight years of torture and hatred."

"Someone did love you, M'Lady," Edith replied.

"Did you know?" Kara asked gently. "That Alex is a woman?"

"Yes, I knew," the older woman responded readily. "She is Lady Alexandra of the House of Danvers. I was her healer since birth but she wanted to be a knight so she pretended to be a boy and became a squire. She entered the Lord's Guard here shortly after I became healer to this house and, after she came back from the war a hero, it was never questioned."

"I miss… her," Kara whispered. "I feel like I drove her away."

But Edith shook her head, squeezing the younger woman's shoulder. "You did not drive her away. Her own guilt and pain did that, young Kara."

..

Ten years, Lady Kara thought to herself as she walked slowly through the hallways of her castle. She had made some changes since her husband had died and where there were once dirt and leather and the smell of old mead, there were now tapestries and colorful paintings and the scent of lavender, jasmine and baking bread.

Kara was a benevolent ruler and spent a lot of her time in court, receiving guests and people who were not as fortunate as she was. She lowered taxes and instead asked for a small crop tithe, the proceeds of which were sold to make money for the estate. Her people were thriving and happy. No one missed Lord Maxwell, least of all Kara.

Heading out into the orchard, the young woman smiled at the familiar sunrise and let peace settle over her. She pulled her fur a little closer against the chill of the autumn morning and closed her eyes for a long moment, savoring the quiet and the scent of apple blossom.

"You look as beautiful as ever."

The low, raspy voice that Kara knew as well as her own heartbeat, spun her around with a gasp of surprise that almost made her dizzy. Alex was smiling, dressed in a green tunic with black leggings and shining leather boots. His furs – her, Kara corrected herself – were draped over shoulders even more thickly corded with muscle than Kara had remembered. "Alex!" she exclaimed, taking a few steps forward and then stopping herself, suddenly unsure of her touch being accepted. "Alex," she whispered.

Their eyes met and held and the knight's feet carried her closer of their own accord until they were standing toe to toe. "My Lady," Alex murmured, giving a little bow and bringing the blonde woman's hand to her lips to kiss it reverently. "You are well, I trust?"

With a little laugh, Kara forwent propriety and threw her arms around the knight's body, pulling her close and sighing as Alex's arms closed around her in return. "I am now. It is so good to see you. I have missed you so much." Tears flowed freely down her cheeks and, when she pulled back a little, she saw them on her friend's face too. "When did you arrive?"

"A few moments ago," the knight replied, sniffing and wiping her cheeks. "I could not wait to see you, although I confess that I was unsure as to how you would receive me."

"I could not be happier to see you! Have you eaten?" Kara asked, lacing her fingers with her friend's and tugging gently. "Share breakfast with me?"

"Would be my honor," Alex smiled, allowing herself to be tugged towards the castle.

They took breakfast in the lady's outer chamber, sitting together on the padded bench in front of the fire. "Alex, where have you been?" Kara asked as she poured some apple cider into a cup and passed it to her friend.

"I travelled quite a distance," the knight replied. "All over yours and your father's land. I took a ship to Gaul and travelled there. And finally, I returned to my family's house."

"The House of Danvers," Kara said softly. "Did you speak with your family?"

"I wanted them to know that I am still alive," Alex replied, chewing on a grape. "But I will probably not return there. They were… less than understanding. However, it was there that I learned of the death of your husband. I will not offer my condolences."

Kara laughed. "I would not expect you to," she replied. "Lord, Alex, I'm so glad you came."

The knight looked down. "I could not stay away," she replied. "Not when…" She stopped and got up, moving to the window. "My heart carried me here, Kara, but just to see you. I do not expect anything from you."

Kara got up too and joined her friend, reaching out tentatively to rub her back. "I do not care that you are a woman. I still love you, Alex."

But the knight shook her head sadly. "It matters, Kara," she replied. "I cannot marry you, nor give you children."

A servant entered the room to replenish the water and juice jugs, momentarily stilling the conversation. The young blonde watched as Alex slowly paced in front of the fire, her hand opening and closing reflexively on the hilt of her sword as she waited for the servant to leave. "Alex."

"I should go," the knight murmured. "I should not have put you in this…"

But her words were cut off as hands, smooth as silk, grasped her cheeks and a pair of very soft and very gentle lips brushed against hers. "Do not go… please…" A sob erupted from Kara's chest. "I cannot lose you again."

And at the desperate plea, Alex's resolve shattered. She lunged forward, tangling her fingers in golden tresses and kissing the only person she'd ever truly loved with everything she had. Kara whimpered and tried to press even closer, wanting to feel everything. Eight years of marriage followed by two years as a widow and she'd never felt carnal pleasure. She craved Alex's touch more than anything she'd ever wanted or needed. "God, Kara," the knight rasped, her lips latching on to the column of the blonde's throat and sucking.

"Bed… please Alex… I need you," Kara begged. This sensation was so different for the lady. For such a long time, she'd been terrified of sex… of the pain she knew there would be… but with Alex, it was so different.

Inside Kara's private bed chamber, the knight's hands slowly undressed her and Alex took her time, kissing every piece of newly exposed skin as buttons and laces came undone and heavy fabric was pushed aside. She worshipped Kara's breasts, almost crying when she saw the small scars from harsh bite marks and she kissed each one, wanting to erase those memories for her lover. Then the lady was bare before her, soft pale skin almost glowing in the firelight, thighs parted, needy. Alex swallowed as she started to unbutton her tunic but Kara sat forward. "Please let me…"

She opened and slid the knight's tunic off her shoulders followed by her thick collared undershirt. Alex looked away as her lover gazed at her chest, bound tightly by wraps to hide her feminine shape but after Kara had removed those too, she turned Alex's face to kiss her lips. "You are beautiful, Alex," she whispered, letting her palms caress supple curves and rapidly hardening nipples.

Tears spilled down the knight's cheeks but she nodded and hugged her lover close. "As are you," she whispered in return.

Alex's leggings and boots were quickly discarded and they came together, skin on skin for the first time. They kissed, slowly and deeply as their hands roamed, trying to convey the depth of their feelings for each other though loving touches.

"Alex," Kara whispered. "Make me forget him. Please…"

The knight nodded her understanding. "I love you so much, Kara," she murmured as her fingers slipped gently between the lady's legs, exploring through wet curls and glistening folds. She met Kara's eyes, dark with desire. "Be mine?" she asked, knowing it was not possible but needing to ask.

"I have been yours since our first painting lesson," the young blonde replied, honestly. Then she tipped her head back and moaned deeply as Alex's long fingers slid inside her.

Kara laced her fingers into Alex's hair while the knight's lips and tongue explored her breasts. She could hardly breathe. The sensations moving through her body were making her head swim and she felt overheated and so so ready for whatever might be coming next. She lifted her hips, thrusting them hard against Alex's fingers and grasping the sheets under her hands with a death grip. Her breathing was ragged and she moaned louder as the pleasure spiraled higher and higher until she tumbled over the edge, chanting her lover's name over and over. The climax was more than she ever had expected and she collapsed, boneless, back onto the bed, humming peacefully as Alex gathered her into her arms and held her close, peppering her face with little kisses. "Are you well, my Love?"

"I did not… know," Kara replied, wonderingly running her fingers along the scar on Alex's face that she had come to love so much.

"Know what?" the knight asked, confused.

"That it would be this wonderful," the blonde grinned happily as she bounced a little on Alex's chest, making the woman laugh. Then she shifted to lay on top of her lover, pressing her thigh between Alex's legs and feeling the slickness of the knight's arousal. "You feel so good, Alex," she murmured in a tone that made the dark-haired woman swallow deeply. "May I touch you?"

"Please…" the knight replied, her voice raspier than usual. "I am yours."

"I love you," came the gently reply and Alex closed her eyes as Kara began a slow and intimate exploration of her. Tentative touches and kisses became more confident as Kara learned what made Alex moan and squirm underneath her. The knight's lithe body was crisscrossed with scars from years of battle and Kara paid each one attention as she explored.

Finally, Alex couldn't take it anymore and she took the lady's hand, guiding it between her legs. "Inside, Kara, please…"

At first, Kara was nervous but encouraging nods and moans from the knight spurred her on and soon, Alex's muscles tightened and the blonde wondered at the feeling of the contractions around her fingers. It was the most amazing thing she'd ever experienced… well… she mused… the second most amazing.

"K-Kara," Alex said weakly, her body trembling.

"Hush, my Love," the lady replied softly, stroking the knights damp hair back from her forehead. "Sleep now."

..

Lady Kara laughed and waved as Sir Alexander, her new husband, cantered by on his horse, waving the handkerchief with which she had graced him. Alex had won all the jousting and sword-fighting competitions and was playing the part of the great warrior.

She pulled her horse up in front of her Lady and jumped down, bowing at the waist as the blonde blew her a kiss. Then she jumped over the barrier to run up the steps and steal a real one, much to the crowd's delight.

Lady Kara was beloved by her people and they could all see how happy she was with Sir Alexander. They were also hoping for an heir to the ruling seat. In fact, Kara had already been asked if she and her husband were going to have children straight away.

She hadn't told Alex. Yet. She was nervous to do so since it had been one of the knight's concerns about their relationship in the first place. Alex also knew that Kara really did want children and had essentially given that up for her.

..

In bed that night, snuggling against Alex's chest, Kara sighed. "We can just say we are trying and, when it does not happen, say I cannot have them."

"But you want children," the knight replied, settling her arms tighter around her beautiful wife.

"I want you more," Kara smiled, tracing the scar along Alex's cheek with her fingertips. "How did this happen?" she asked curiously.

"It was a long time ago," came the evasive answer as brown eyes looked elsewhere.

"Darling, please tell me?"

The knight sighed but nodded. "Lord Maxwell. It was a punishment."

"For what?" Kara asked indignantly.

"Refusing his advances."

For a long moment, the lady couldn't speak. Then she shook her head, rising on an elbow to look her wife in the face. "He knew you were a woman?"

Alex chuckled then. "No. I was but a squire back then. About thirteen summers old. He tried to force me so… I bit him and he did this to me as punishment. Apparently, he had a taste for boys."

Kara flopped back down again and snuggled close. "Bastard."

After a moment, Alex took a breath. "We could name an heir," she suggested quietly. "I know that it would not be the fruit of our love but we could give a home and love to a child who needs it." She sighed. "I cannot bear the thought of you having relations with anyone but me."

"Darling, I would never," Kara breathed. "I love and respect you too much." Alex nodded, wiping a tear from her cheek and sniffling. "I do love your idea of adopting a child though and I think Healer Edith may be able to help us with that."

"How so?" the knight asked, curiously.

"She has many female patients. I'm sure she can find us a woman who does not wish to raise a child herself."

Alex pursed her lips thoughtfully. "We would be expected to pay a fee."

"There is no amount too much," the lady replied in a whisper.

A big smile broke out on Alex's face. "Then it is settled. We will speak with Healer Edith in the morning."

Kara squealed with joy and kissed her wife deeply. "We will soon have a baby, Alex!"

"Yes, we will, My Love."

..

Twenty years, Lady Kara mused as she and Sir Alexander sat in the orchard together, hand in hand. They watched their ten-year-old daughter, Lucy, playing damsels and knights with her best friend, James. The boy was also Alex's squire and he loved his life living in the castle.

Over the years, Alex had gained a few more battle scars and a smattering of grey at her temples but she was as happy and loved as ever. She reached over to rock the perambulator, in which their five-year-old son, John, lay sleeping and sighed happily as Kara linked her arm and leaned against her shoulder.

The lady was still as beautiful at thirty-eight as she had been the first day Alex had laid eyes on her and she sent a silent prayer of thanks skywards for allowing her to have the life she'd never dreamed possible when she was younger.

Kara closed her eyes and took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of baking bread, lavender and most importantly… apple blossom.


End file.
